Chapter Thirty Five

Whenever Kevin was stressed out, he started cleaning. He hadn't always been that way. In fact, he hadn't started doing that until he met Karen. It may have been something about the way she could walk through a room and leave a wake of destruction behind her, but it didn't really matter. What mattered was that Kevin was upset, and he was cleaning the upstairs bathroom within an inch of its life. If he was concentrating on tile grout, he didn't have to think about what was going to happen and how it was going to change his life, and worst of all, how it was going to change his little girl's life. It really wasn't working, he was still thinking about it. This wasn't something that he could just forget.

"Hey, Kevin."

Kevin jumped and glanced over at the bathroom door. Brian was standing hesitantly in the hallway. Kevin turned his attention back to the shower wall. Brian had some serious explaining to do, and even then, all the explaining in the world wasn't going to change anything. Unless it was a good explanation, it wasn't even going to change Kevin's mind.

"Karen said you were up here." Brian perched himself on the freshly scrubbed counter, swinging his feet against the cabinet door below and watched Kevin for a minute. "I know you're mad at me."

Kevin didn't even bother to dignify that with an answer. Of course he was mad at Brian. He hadn't spoke to him since their fight in the New York clubhouse. It hadn't been hard. Brian had been avoiding him as well.

"You have to realize a couple things." Brian started. "That wasn't supposed to be in the paper yet. I was gonna tell you, okay?"

"Were you?" Kevin flung at him. Much to his disappointment, Brian didn't look hurt. He wanted Brian to feel as bad as he did over all this. "Ten months is a long time to wait, Bri."

"Kevin, if you're gonna be an a-- about all this, I'm not gonna bother." Brian sighed. "I was gonna tell you when I first found out, but I kept chickening out. I'm sorry."

Kevin flung his sponge in the sink and leaned against the wall across from Brian. "Did you know my Mom didn't tell me my Dad was sick until a month before he died?"

"No. I didn't." Brian did look hurt now. It didn't make Kevin feel any better. In fact, it made him feel worse. He hated the fact that Brian could do that to him. He didn't even have to say anything, it was this feeling that appeared in the room. Brian could lay a guilt trip on someone just by looking at them.

"So, what're you gonna do?" Kevin changed the subject.

"Nothing." Brian shrugged.

"You're just gonna sit there and die?" Kevin said in disbelief. "Way to go, Bri."

"Hey!" There was a certain look that Brian would get in his eyes when he was mad, that never failed to make Kevin feel a little uneasy. It wasn't quite there this time, but it was close. "I don't have much of a choice here, okay?" He frowned, pulling the baseball cap off his head and running his fingers along the brim. "I've had some time to think about this now. Ten months, actually. And I can either go for chemo or something and live... longer, but be miserable most of that time. Call me selfish if you want, but I'd prefer to just enjoy the time I have left."

"How long is that?" Kevin asked quietly.

"It doesn't matter."

"Brian..."

"I'm not gonna tell you. It doesn't matter. I don't need people writing me off as dead already, cause I'm not!" Brian's voice rose, and he stared back down at his hat after that speech. Kevin stood quietly for a minute, not sure how to address that. That had been very unlike Brian.

"I haven't talked to Becky yet." Kevin brought up what was bothering him the most about all this.

"I did." Brian shoved his hat back on. "She wanted to know if I thought angels could get cancer." He smiled, happy again.

"Becky and her angels." Kevin shook his head.

"Hey - don't go dissing angels." Brian warned teasingly. "They've helped you out more than once."

"You know I don't believe that."

"Doesn't matter if you believe it or not."

"You're worse than she is, you know."

"Yep." Brian shoved himself off the counter. "I've gotta go. I'm..."

"Late. I know." Kevin waved his hand at him. "If you'd just pay attention to the details, Bri..."

"I don't have time for details." Brian gave him his standard response. "See you tonight." Kevin heard the thump as Brian slid down the railing of the stairs, as usual, and heard him yell good-bye to Karen, before the front door slammed.

Kevin rinsed the sponge off. He didn't have the faintest idea why, but he was feeling better now. He shouldn't be, but he was.



The television screen showed AJ McLean standing on the mound, staring down at home plate with the usual expression of surprise, confusion, disbelief, amusement and superiority that he always showed while waiting for the sign. He shook his head, and the entire cycle was repeated for the fourth time. The left side of AJ's hair was a strange red-orange color, the right was bright blue. The full effect was lost with his hat on, but the ends still showed.

"The Athletics lost tonight to Anaheim." Niehaus filled the dead air time while AJ messed around on the mound. "The Mariners magic number is down to two games. With a win tonight, they could be one win - or one Athletic loss - away from going to the playoffs for the fourth time in team history."

On the screen, AJ shook his head again, then raised one eyebrow in surprise at the sign Lenny gave him that time, smirking. Finally, he agreed on a pitch, and threw towards the plate.

"And that's hit into... diving stop by Littrell... underhands to Alicea at second..." Niehaus watched as Alicea threw the ball onto first. "4-6-3 double play, and that's the ball game. McLean earns his forty first save of the year. The Mariners are one game away from clinching the west. You know, Charlie, I can't think of a team that I'd like to see in the playoffs more."



The Mariners beat the Texas Rangers 15-4 the next day, winning the American League western division, and proceeding onto the playoffs, where they would play either the Toronto Blue Jays or the Oakland Athletics, who still had a chance in the wild card berth. The champagne was waiting in the plastic covered clubhouse afterwards, and the team wasted no time in cranking the stereo and drenching everything in sight, including cameras, reporters, Buddy Williams and the team owner, who although he smiled, was not happy with AJ McLean dumping a bottle of champagne over his head.

"Won what?" AJ yelled over the music, leaning down towards the reporter trying to get interviews. "We won something? I thought we were just having a party! We won the division?" He turned and grabbed Kevin as he wandered past. "Kevin! Did you know there's a reason for all this?" Kevin proceeded to spray AJ in the face with champagne.

"That was so uncool!" AJ hollered, now looking something like a wet cat. "You're DEAD, my friend!"

"Move move move move move!" Brian bolted into the middle of the scene, ducking behind AJ. "Nick's on the warpath!"

Kevin dumped the rest of the bottle over Brian's head and shook up a fresh one, spraying Nick head on in the face.

"Geez!" Nick yelped, wiping at his face furiously. "That stuff smarts! Cut it out!"

"What do I think our strongest asset is?" AJ repeated the reporters question. "Our maturity level, no doubt."

"Serves ya right!" Brian taunted, leaning out from behind AJ and sticking his tongue out at Nick. "Betcha can't get me!"

"I would if I could see you." Nick wiped his eyes with the hem of his division champions t-shirt. He banged into the camera, snickered, then gave the camera a ditzy smile. "Sorry! I actually can't see anything right now." He turned back around. "Where's Brian?"

AJ frowned at the spray all around him. "Okay, I'm wondering. Exactly why is all this alcohol going to waste again?"